All About Apostrophes

Because alliteration is fun.

Alright, folks (or should I say “all right”?). This post is the last official post for my Senior Experience project. However, I’ve quite enjoyed creating this blog so far. So while I won’t continue to post daily, I may update with posts once every week or so.

First, I’d just like to start off with one of the most common mistakes that people make with regards to apostrophes. Putting an apostrophe and the letter s on the end of a singular word does NOT make it plural. It makes it possessive. Some of you might be reading this and thinking it’s obvious, but it is actually a surprisingly frequently made error.

Incorrect: I heard there are a lot of house’s for sale in that neighborhood.

Correct: I have yet to complete about ten homework assignments that were already due. Seniors.

Yes, that last one was, unfortunately, true.

The second thing I’d like to address about apostrophes is the confusion that arises when a word ends with the letter s and you want to make it possessive. Keep in mind, the only definitive rule of the following is rule #2. The others are more of stylistic choices, as there are several “correct” methods of forming the intended words. The following “rules” are more like guidelines (in the spirit of Captain Jack Sparrow) and are the stylistic choices that I personally make. Check out the resource links at the bottom of this post to see some other approved methods of forming the possessive version of words that end in s. The most important thing is that you remain consistent in how you choose to form the words.

1. If the word is singular and ends in s, add an apostrophe and additional s. (As previously mentioned, there are other correct methods to form such words. Some sources say that this depends on the sound of the s at the end of the word. Others say you can just add the apostrophe without the extra s.)

Example: James à I went to James’s house last weekend. [The house of James.]

Example 2: Mr. Jones à Mr. Jones’s daughter is going to prom with me. [The daughter of Mr. Jones.]

2. If the word, when singular, does not end in s but ends in s when plural, just add an apostrophe after the s to make the plural possessive.

Example: Girl(s) à I slept over in the girls’ bedroom. [The bedroom of the girls.]

Example 2: Apple(s) à The apples’ color was bright red. [The color of the apples.]

3. If the word, when singular, ends in s and you want to make its plural form possessive, add an es (to make it plural) and an apostrophe immediately after.

Example: The Jones Family à The Joneses’ new car already has a dent. [The car of the Joneses (their last name is Jones).]

Example 2: Bus(es) à The buses’ route to the party was interrupted by an accident. [The route of the buses (singular form is bus).]

The third and final concept of apostrophe use that I believe causes the most confusion is possession by more than one person (joint/compound possession). The person or thing that possesses something is known as a possessor. However, to make things simple, I’ll just use the word “people.”

1. If multiple people share in possessing one thing, add the apostrophe and s to the final person’s name, and make the object singular (or plural if they share more than one of the object being possessed).

Example: Joe and Marie’s cat jumped through a window. [Joe and Marie own the cat together, and it jumped out the window.]

Example 2: Joe and Marie’s two cats jumped through a window. [Joe and Marie own the two cats together, and both jumped out the window.]

2. If multiple people each possess their own of the same thing, each person gets his or her own apostrophe and the object should be plural.

Example 1: Joe’s and Marie’s cats jumped through a window. [Joe and Marie each own a cat, and both cats happened to jump through the window.]

Example 2: Joe’s and Marie’s two cats jumped through a window. [Many grammarians would interpret this to mean that Joe and Marie each own two cats, and all four cats happened to jump through the window.]

3. If one of the possessors is a personal pronoun (my, your, his, her, its, our, their), the other person gets an apostrophe and s, as well.

Example: My and Joe’s cat jumped through a window. [We share a cat and it jumped out the window.]

*No cats were harmed in the making of this post.

References and other links for more information:

1. http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/621/01/

2. http://www.kentlaw.edu/academics/lrw/grinker/LwtaApostrophes.htm

3. http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/apostro.asp

4. http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/grammar-compound-possession.aspx

5. http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/possessives.htm

Are Those They? - Linking Verbs

This post was partially inspired by a conversation I had with someone last year in which he told me that a certain assistant principle from our school was quite impressed when he asked “Are those they?” when referring to a stack of papers.

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?
It’s me.

Not quite. The proper way to answer would actually be to say, “It is I.” And when asked, “Who did this?” the proper answer would be, “It is he.” And when asking if those particular papers are the ones you were meant to come collect, you should ask, “Are those they?” Yes, you may sound like an old, stodgy British butler, but at least you’ll be an old, stodgy, grammatically correct British butler. All of this is because “to be” is a linking verb.

            Think of a linking verb as doing just that— linking. It can link a subject to a noun, a pronoun, or an adjective. Consider it to be sort of like an equals sign, meaning whatever is on either side should be the same. So if the word before the conjugated form of “to be” is a subject, the word after (if it is a pronoun) should also be in the subject case (a.k.a. nominative case). Subject form = subject form.

What are the subject and object pronouns? The subject pronouns in English are I, you, he, she, it, we, you, they, what, who. The object pronouns are me, you, him, her, it, us, them, what, whom.

Incorrect: I am her

Breakdown: I (subject) am (conjugated form of “to be”) her (object form of pronoun)

Correct: I am she

Breakdown: I (subject) am (conjugated form of “to be”) she (subject form of pronoun)

Incorrect: These are them

Breakdown: These (subject) are (conjugated form of “to be”) them (object form of pronoun)

Correct: These are they

Breakdown: These (subject) are (conjugated form of “to be”) they (subject form of pronoun)

But the forms of “to be” aren’t the only linking verbs. Any form of “become” or “seem” qualifies as a linking verb. And there are roughly twenty other words that can be a linking verb if the context is right; if not a linking verb, they act as action verbs (conveying an action taking place). These include appear, look, feel, remain, sound, and taste. Check out the links (pun not intended) at the end of this post for more examples. The rule of thumb for checking to see if these words are considered linking words in specific cases is to replace the verb with a form of “to be” (is, are, was, were, etc.).* If the sentence stills makes sense, then the verb would be considered a linking verb in that context. If it does not make sense, it is an action verb in that context. If it is a linking verb and the following word is a noun or an adjective, then there is nothing to double check. But if the word that follows is a pronoun, you would then need to make sure that it is in the subject form.

Example: She feels elated. à She is elated. [This sentence makes sense, so “feels” is a linking verb, followed by an adjective.]

She feels the weight of the book in her hand. à She is the weight of the book in her hand. [This sentence does not make sense, so in this case, “feels” is an action verb.]

*This method will not work with the word “appear” or any of its forms.

References and other links for more information:

1. http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/grammar-linking-verbs.aspx

2. http://www.chompchomp.com/terms/linkingverb.htm

3. http://www.grammaruntied.com/verbs/linking.html

Commonly Used Phrases... That Don't Actually Exist

This is sort of like a part II to the post about words that aren’t actually correct. But this time, it’s sentences…

1. For all intensive purposes

What you should be saying: For all intents and purposes. This one came about because the two phrases sound alike when said aloud. However, there is no such thing as an “intensive purpose.” The correct phrase means “for all practical purposes; in every practical sense” [1]. Yes, “intents” and “purposes” are basically synonymous in this saying, and having them both there is unnecessary and creates confusion that likely contributes to the incorrect phrasing. But, no matter how ridiculous you may think it is to use such a redundant statement, you’ll sound even more ridiculous saying it incorrectly.

2. I could care less

What you should be saying: I couldn’t care less. This one is just a simple case of using common sense. The phrase is meant to express the sentiment that one is not concerned about something. But if you could care less, that means that you have to care to some extent in the first place, negating the intent (and purpose ;P) of the phrase. On the other hand, saying you couldn’t care less implies that you don’t care whatsoever in the first place, so it is not within your ability to care any less about the matter at hand. Alternatively, you could always use the slang, “I give absolutely no flucks*.” That pretty sufficiently gets the point across.

3. Me either

What you should be saying: Me neither. Though technically, that isn’t the best construction, either (pun not intended). The best phrase to use is nor I or neither do I or neither/nor can I. But because, as a grammarian, you sometimes have to pick your battles, I’d suggest that you use “me neither.” Because at least that one is somewhat correct (depending on whom you ask). In summary: When trying to agree with a negative statement, you should use “neither” because it incorporates the negative.

Incorrect: -I can’t go today.

                - Me either.

Correct: -I don’t like it.

              -Me neither.

4. Hone in

What you should be saying: Home in. “Hone” means to sharpen, as in “honing your skills.” “Homing” in on something means to aim or focus on a target. To remember this one, think of a homing pigeon or a homing device, which aim for something specific.

5. Begs the question

What you (probably) should be saying: Raises the question. “Begging the question” has a Latin equivalent: petitio principii, or, "postulation of the beginning" [2,3]. In other words, it is a logical fallacy that refers to a circular argument. In other other words, it means to use part of the concept of an argument to prove itself. It does not mean, despite some people’s insistence to the contrary (Robin, this sentence goes out to you!), that something creates or poses a question to be answered. So better to go for the simple wording and avoid looking like a fool when someone calls you out on it.

*By flucks, I think you know what I mean…

References and other links for more information:

1. http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/perl/webwn?s=for%20all%20intents%20and%20purposes

2. http://www.fallacyfiles.org/begquest.html

3. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/petitio%20principii

4. http://www.word-detective.com/2009/01/intensive-purposes/

5. http://www.connectingsingles.com/article13/5-sayings-most-people-get-wrong.htm

6. http://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/meeither.html

7. http://shine.yahoo.com/work-money/24-things-you-might-be-saying-wrong-2338028.html

8. http://jeffberndt.hubpages.com/hub/Youre-Saying-it-Wrong-Five-Commonly-Misspoken-and-Misspelled-Phrases

The Etymology of Summer

But not literally. It’s actually the etymology and origin of words related to summer, in honor of the impending season. Because the etymology of summer is quite arduous and boring and wouldn’t make for a sufficiently substantial post.

 Bikini: A word that brings a smile to the faces of the majority of the male species (and yes, I know men aren’t their own species, but they might as well be) actually came about because of a potential deadly weapon that would soon change the world forever. That’s right, designer Jacques Heim named his two-piece bathing suit creations after Bikini Atoll, the (in)famous site of nuclear testing that took place in the middle of the 20^th century. He released the product just days after the first weaponry test took place there, naming it after the much-talked about event in the center of the media craze, seemingly in an effort to increase sales. Capitalize on controversy to increase publicity and make money? He may have been a bit ahead of the times. I guess he was like the Kardashians of the 1900s, always looking to profit and gain publicity from anything possible. Oh wait. That's most public figures nowadays. ;)

Muscle: This one is for all you Situations out there who just love that summer provides an excuse to flash those guns and abs. It also has an unlikely etymology. “Muscle” comes from the French muscle which comes from musculus, Latin for “little mouse.” Mus alone is Latin for mouse— which itself is derived from Ancient Greek μῦς (mus)— and musculus is the diminutive form. It was said that, when flexed, it appeared that little mice were running under the skin. Sounds like the plot for a new low budget horror film…

Wave: Nothing too exciting behind this one. The waves you surf weren’t originally about water. “Wave” partially comes from the verb “to wave,” because the water moves back and forth. Before it came to its current form, the word used was the Middle English waw, which in turn comes from Old English’s wagian, meaning “to move to and fro” [1].

Dog Days of Summer: Though some believe this term, meant to refer to those hot days smack dab in the middle of summer, came about because their heat is something even dogs wouldn’t tolerate, that is not the case. The “dogs days” of summer are actually meant to be a specific time frame, generally July 3^rd to August 11^th, when Sirius, the Dog Star, rises with the sun— though the rotation of the earth has since changed the validity of this. It just so happens that those days coincide with the ones you wouldn’t be cruel enough to make even your dogs spend outdoors.

Sundae: Possibly the very best part of summer. Possibly also has the most debated origin of any of the words on this list. Various accounts claim different origins, but there are a few that are more believed (and believable) than others. Most of these stories share a common idea that the name itself comes from Sunday, the final day of the week. One theory claims that the ice cream used to create sundaes was the leftover ice cream from the week that would have been sold for less money the next day. Another popular account says that it was originally only sold on Sunday, as a way to try to get around certain laws that did not allow for the sale of regular ice cream or ice cream sodas on Sundays (due to religious reasons). The exact origin of its name doesn’t matter nearly as much as the fact that it was created for our consumption in the first place. Yum.

References and other links for more information:

1. http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=wave&allowed_in_frame=0

2. http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=muscle

3. http://www.wordorigins.org/index.php/site/bikini/

4. http://www.citehr.com/238708-origin-word-bikini.html

5. http://www.space.com/8946-dog-days-summer-celestial-origin.html

6. http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=dog+days

7.http://www.epl.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=218&Itemid=331

8. http://www.altalang.com/beyond-words/2009/07/29/summer-scoop-the-etymology-of-ice-cream-sundae/

It's All in the Past! - Incorrect Past Tenses

This post is pretty self-explanatory. However, here is an important grammar fact that you’ll need to know going forward: A past participle is the form of a verb used for perfect tenses or the passive voice. In other words, it is the form of the verb that you pair with “has/have” or “had,” or possibly use as an adjective (e.g.,  to goà gone, to runà run, to seeà seen, to doà done).

1. Lead/Lead: Some of you may have already guessed where I’m going with this one. The past tense and past participle of “to lead” is “led,” not “lead” (also pronounced LED; a.k.a that metal that causes an uproar in the news whenever it’s found in a toy shipped in from a country we outsourced American jobs to). It is such a common mistake because “led” and “lead” (the metal) are homophones, meaning they sound the same, but have different meanings. When people write, they tend to transcribe what it is they are hearing in their heads at the time, and even though you may be saying “led” in your head, you are conjuring up the letters l-e-a-d. Also, the past tense and past participle of “to read” is read, and for some reason, people tend to automatically assume that words that rhyme in the present tense also rhyme in the past tense.

Incorrect: Last week I lead a hiking group up the Rocky Mountains.

Correct: I led him to the right room yesterday so he asked if I would lead him there again tomorrow.

2. Bring/Brang: Bring it on, incorrect grammar! (Okay, so that one was lame). Anyway, “brang,” in the spirit of yesterday’s post, is a non-existent word— at least in most English dialects (some regions apparently use it). On a related note, “brung” is also considered by some to be the past participle of “to bring,” though that, too, is only in those few dialects. In the majority of English dialects, neither word is acceptable. “Brought” is both the past tense and the past participle of “to bring.”

Incorrect: I have brung an apple for lunch all year long, so today brang something new.

Correct: I brought the wrong binder to class, only to realize I had not even brought the correct binder to school that day.

3. Swim/Swimmed: This one is pretty straightforward, so it should go quite swimmingly. Hah. Basically, despite the fact that some say “swimmed” is the past tense of “to swim,” the correct word is “swam.” The past participle is “swum.”

Incorrect: The dolphin swimmed past as I sat on the beach shore.

Correct: I swam every day last week, but I haven’t swum yet this week.

4. Hang/Hanged/Hung: This one is confusing because, depending on the intended meaning of “hang,” the past tense differs. So it isn’t that one form or the other is necessarily incorrect in all cases, but that, if used in the wrong context, it is considered incorrect.

If by hang you mean to “kill (someone) by tying a rope attached from above around their neck” [1], then both the past tense and the past participle are “hanged.”

Example: They hanged the man for his crimes. They had hanged many others before him.

However, if you intend to use the definition “to suspend or be suspended from above with the lower part dangling free” [1], then both the past tense and the past participle are “hung.”

Examples:

1. The pendant hung from a chain around my neck.

2. I have hung the picture on the wall.

5. Drag/Drug: This one is similar to bring/brang/brung in that some regional dialects differ from the majority.  So some places use “drug” as the past tense of “to drag,” although almost all dialects reject this use. The “proper” past tense of “to drag” is “dragged,” and the past participle is the same.

Incorrect: I drug the sled behind me in the snow.

Correct: I have dragged this backpack around with me all day. I’m still wondering why I dragged it to all the classes I didn’t need it for.

References and other links for more information:

1. http://oxforddictionaries.com/definition/hang

2. http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0200807.html

3. http://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/307719

4. http://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/brang.html

5. http://www.verbix.com/webverbix/English/swim.html

6. http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/dragged-versus-drug.aspx

7. http://www.the-conjugation.com/english/verb/drag.php

Commonly Used Words... That Don't Actually Exist

The problem isn't that you're using these words incorrectly. It's that you're using them at all! (But, as always, remember that most people aren't very concerned with the minutiae of grammar and won't mind if you do.)

Alright: Alright is not all right! Continuing this week's theme of "things you only thought you knew about English," we have what is most likely the most commonly used word from this list. In fact, it is so misused that many English teachers either won't notice its use in a formal essay or will have thrown in the towel already on this one and no longer even try to stamp out its use. Another common theme from my posts so far has been that something has been used incorrectly in the English language for so long that it is now regarded as "correct" in colloquial speech. Such is the case with alright. Alright is a non-existent word, a combination of the correct "all right," which can either mean "all correct" if the writer didn't necessarily intend for the words to be next to each other or "satisfactory" if the adjacency of those words was on purpose and mandatory. "Alright" stems from the latter definition. So even though it is a mistaken jumble of a short phrase, its meaning actually differs from the phrase from which it came; "all right" can be taken to mean "entirely correct," while "alright" is taken to mean "not entirely correct but adequate enough."

Irregardless (Note: Even the spell check on my computer isn't underlining it with that annoying squiggly red line. Incorrect English has taken over Microsoft!): This word is the Justin Bieber of non-existent words. Widely known; the majority of people love to hate it, while the minority continue on in their obliviousness, proudly singing its tune; and, if used in a sentence, it instantly makes people think the speaker has the maturity and intellect of a twelve year old girl. “Irregardless” seems to be a bemusing mix of the words regardless and irrespective, synonyms which mean “notwithstanding” or “without taking account of” [1,2]. It was a combination of this confusion and what was likely the desire to sound more sophisticated that led to the birth of “irregardless.” Irregardless of how it came about, I hope that anyone reading this will be careful not to use the word anymore.

Should of, Would of, Could of: An oldie but a goodie. Sometimes seen as the equally (or possibly even more) atrocious “shoulda,” “woulda,” or “coulda.” Very simply put: these phrases/words have never existed and will never exist. What are the actual words? Should have, would have, and could have. The incorrect terms came about because, when spoken quickly, the v in “have” sounds like the f in “of.”

References and other links for more information:

1. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/regardless

2. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/irrespective

3. http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/all-right-versus-alright.aspx

4. http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/alright

5. http://www.portent.com/blog/random/9_words_that_dont_exist.htm

6. http://public.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/couldof.html

The Oxford Comma

Today's a short one. And more informative than corrective. And potentially controversial if other grammarians are reading this.

           As far as punctuation goes, I offer not a correction, but rather a plea. Please use Oxford commas. 

           I am a staunch supporter of the Oxford comma, also known as the Serial comma or Harvard comma. It's that comma after the penultimate word in a list, right before the conjunction (good ol' FANBOYS) that introduces the final item. For instance: I like running, jumping, and dancing. As you can see, I had two commas in that sentence. However, some grammarians would argue that I should exclude the comma before “and dancing,” deeming it unnecessary punctuation. I am from the school of thought that recommends always using the Oxford comma. Mostly for the sake of clarity.

           Consider this next (and relatively viral) example [1]. “We invited the strippers, JFK, and Stalin.” With the Oxford comma, you know that the two men were invited along with an unknown number of strippers. Without the Oxford comma, it becomes, “We invited the strippers, JFK and Stalin.” Now JFK and Stalin ARE the strippers— pasties, provocative moves, and all. 

References and other links for more information:

1. http://thegloss.com/beauty/why-the-oxford-comma-is-something-you-should-care-about-392/

2. http://oxforddictionaries.com/words/what-is-the-oxford-comma

3. http://grammar.about.com/od/grammarfaq/f/QAoxfordcomma.htm